SEPTEMBER 14 2020 4:03 PM MST
two entries in a day? wowzer.
i should probably stop thinking that everyone would be upset if i were gone
- all the people i imagine would miss me probably don't even care much about me.
i don't mean this in a depressing "nobody loves me" way - moreso a "let's just be real.." way
(as cheesy as that sounds).
i just wish i could be honest with myself and admit
that maybe i'm not as important as i think i am. i don't know.
i mean, why else would i be so ignored everywhere i go.
why else would i always be in last place? always wanting to be someones favorite - it's not possible.
it's just not possible. it's just a dumb fantasy that doesn't matter.
SEPTEMBER 14 2020 11:44 AM MST
i kind of wish i could stop thinking about all of my old friends. they keep bugging me.
i know what i did. i don't want to remember it any longer - but it's not like we can make amends.
i can't just erase it.
i can't tell - are they trying to be friends again, or are they mocking me? she had no reason to do..that.
i don't know. i wish i could leave. i want to break off from them, but it's just not possible.
the others in there probably wouldn't care. they like her more anyways.
i have more important things to worry about than this but it just sits in my mind
and i'd like to spill it somewhere.
this probably made no sense.
SEPTEMBER 8 2020 6:07 PM MST
hey, welcome to my journal.
i'm..not really feeling anything noteworthy right now, just working on my site.
this is more of a log for when i made the journal. i'll write more when i feel like it.